Neurodiversity Affirming Care FAQ
Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash
Key Takeaways:
All brains are good brains.
“Neurodivergent” is a neurotype referring to anyone whose brain operates differently from the “norm”
An affirming therapist will help you work with your brain, not against it
Your lived experience is valid and important information
Your therapist will mess up. What’s most important is what they do AFTER they mess up
What is neurodiversity?
The term “neurodiversity” refers to the reality that all people have a neurotype and that none of them are bad. The term is said to be coined by Judy Singer, though this is up for debate in some circles, as a part of the neurodiversity movement.
The neurodiversity movement is an alternative to the medical model approach to disability. The medical model sees differences as deficits to be solved, rather than natural human variations worth embracing and supporting.
At its core, the neurodiversity movement is about the literal opposite — embracing human diversity. The idea is that if we advocate for the unmet needs of those whose differences have been treated as less than, everyone can have a better experience in the world without having to change who they fundamentally are.
What is the difference between “neurodivergent” and “neurotypical?”
The neurotypes “neurodivergent” and “neurotypical” are the most common terms you may hear.
Neurotypical refers to a person’s brain that operates - you guessed it - typically. How do we know what’s actually typical? Good question. It’s super relative and, in my opinion, largely based on the path of least resistance for society, and to maintain the power and control of certain people and systems over time.
Neurodivergent refers to a person whose brain, whether at birth or due to experiences they have endured in life, operates differently than the “typical” person’s brain. Sometimes the neurological differences are not physically observable, while other times they are.
What diagnoses are included in the term neurodivergent?
Traditionally, ADHD and Autism were the only diagnoses people thought of as neurodivergent. The more we learn about what it really means to be neurodivergent, the more we have widened this to include so much more.
I love the idea of the neurodivergent umbrella from Sonny Jane Wise. There is disagreement in the neurodivergent community about what exactly fits under this umbrella, but here are some of the diagnoses or identities included in the neurodivergent umbrella:
CPTSD/PTSD
Bipolar Disorder
Personality Disorders (Borderline, Narcissist, Histrionic, etc.)
Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Dysgraphia, Dyscalculia
Seizure disorders
Highly Sensitive People (HSP)
ADHD
Autism
Pathological Demand Avoidance
OCD
Acquired Brain Injuries
How many people are neurodivergent?
Current estimates show that about 20% of the population is neurodivergent, but it is my guess that as we learn more about what neurodivergence truly is, that number will continue to climb upwards fairly quickly.
What does “affirming” mean?
Affirming therapy, in short, is that you are not only accepted for who you are, but you are fully welcome. I will not try to change you to meet my own agenda, nor decide what is best for you. I help guide you to what would feels right to you.
What does neurodiversity affirming therapy look like?
Neurodiversity affirming therapists work with your brain, not against it. There isn’t one specific method that is 100% effective for any one person.
Neurodiversity affirming therapists experiment with approaches that help you identify unmet needs and find ways to meet them, even in the face of societal, systemic or financial constraints. If you say something isn’t working or doesn’t feel right, an affirming therapist makes tweaks until it feels better.
We will work to name the impact that living in a culture designed for a neurotypical brain and nervous system has had on you. Your lived experience is key information.
What is NOT neurodiversity affirming therapy?
Any type of therapy that tells you life would be better if you just tried harder is not neurodiversity affirming.
Therapy that is strictly behavioral and does not pay attention to root causes or underlying unmet needs is not neurodiversity affirming.
If you walk away from sessions feeling like you’ve been gaslit or had your lived experience invalidated, that is not neurodiversity affirming therapy. (Nor is it high quality therapy of any kind, but I digress.)
Your therapist is a fallible human. They will make mistakes. Additionally, what we know about the neurodivergent brain and nervous system is growing rapidly, so your therapist may not know things that you have managed to learn elsewhere.
If you are courageous enough to confront your therapist and they do not take ownership of their mistake or can’t engage in a respectful discussion where you feel your concerns are heard, that therapist likely has more work to do in becoming a more affirming therapist.
How do I find a neurodiversity affirming therapist?
You can look at specific directories like Therapist Neurodiversity Collective, PDA North America PDA Friendly Directory or Highly Sensitive Person Directory.
You can also join Facebook groups for your specific neurodivergence and search for one that is licensed in your state (most therapists are licensed in specific states).
If you find a provider that you connect with but they don’t have availability or don’t take your insurance, you can still ask them if they have any colleagues they would recommend.
As therapists, we work hard to find other like-minded professionals. This strong referral network of trusted professionals is really important to most of us, albeit challenging to build sometimes. It doesn’t hurt to ask!
What if my therapist isn’t neurodiversity affirming, but I like them and don’t want to switch?
That’s completely fine! If you feel safe with your therapist, at the end of the day that is the goal.
Your therapist doesn’t have to know everything about your specific neurodivergence to help you — they just need to be open to learning and listening, both from you and others with similar lived experience.
What neurodivergences do you work with?
I have specific training and experience supporting ADHD, Autism, Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.